George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Justin's life

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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what is 3+3= 8

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops