The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a little girl cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

wanna hear a better joke? casey.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops