Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Hey Shea

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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