What is brown and sticky? A Stick

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

the game

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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