Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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im @ work, LOL.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Mahmy

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops