Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

Where's my tractor?

Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

wanna hear a joke? i dont

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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