A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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