Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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