A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Does pizza sound good for dinner?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops