A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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what has genitial warts? me

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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