- Anti Joke

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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