I'm Andrew Schmitt

thumb_up thumb_down -22

69

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Wow! I've seen this joke before!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops