Vagina cream... end of story

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops