How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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