tom pauling

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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