Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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knock knock no ones home

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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Women's rights.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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