How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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