When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down +9

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A person from Singapore eats

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock whos there? nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops