What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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I have aids

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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