What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Loner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops