A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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do you have a wife?

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Abortion

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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gay porn...

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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