How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Obama.

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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The Joke Below

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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I was once a hamster.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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