How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops