Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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( . Y . )

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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How do you milk a cow? Make sure the cow is tied with a halter to a sturdy post or held in a stanchion. Clean the teats with soapy water or iodine. Warm, soapy water can help "bring down" the milk. Dry them, but don't rub or irritate the teats. Place a bucket underneath the udder. Better yet, hold it between your legs. This takes practice, but it can be done, easily and comfortably. This position lowers the chances of the cow kicking over an almost-filled pail of milk. Sit or squat in a position that will allow you to move away quickly if the cow becomes uncooperative. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, for example, is not safe. See Warnings below. A common milk stool is fabricated using two 2x4's cut and nailed to form a "T" - cut to fit your behind and make sure it is low enough to afford comfortable access to the underside of the cow. Apply a lubricant such as Vaseline to your hands to keep friction to a minimum. Wrap your hands around two of the four teats. Choose diagonal teats (front left and rear right, for example). Or, try the front teats first, then the back pair. Squeeze the base of the teat, after gently clamping each teat between your extended thumb and first finger, so that the teat fills your palm as you squeeze down. Squeeze down to push out the milk, maintaining your grip on the base of the teat so that the milk doesn't flow back up into the udder. Do not jerk or yank the teats. This motion is performed by sequentially squeezing your fingers from the middle to the pinky to force the milk out. Be gentle yet firm. Keep your eyes peeled for mastitis. Repeat with your other hand. Most people prefer to alternate (right hand, left hand, right hand, etc.) the downward squeezing motions because it takes less effort doing it in alternate steps than all at the same time. Continue until the quarter that you're milking looks deflated. Experienced farmers can feel the udder to know exactly when all the milk has come down. Often even looking at the quarter just milked can tell you if it's been emptied enough or not. Move on to milk the other two teats. If you use the diagonal method, switching sides is not necessary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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