Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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anti-joke.com

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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