Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

Keanu Reaves

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

religion

UP

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

Weed.

Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

every knight i see an owl at window

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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