Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Morning wood.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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