What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

thumb_up thumb_down +10

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +10

3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Potato!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops