Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

96

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

yes... that's the joke

Rigo your a stupid ass

rocky is staring at us from outside...

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

Here's another:

What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

modern love

A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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