How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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run farther?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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