During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

i wonder when lachlan will come out of the closet and give keiran a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops