Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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This one time at band camp....

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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a horse nibbled a baby

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Religion.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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