There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +15

anti jokes are for fags

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +15

School

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops