Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

anti jokes are for fags

Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

School

Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

Get in the car.

Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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