How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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Penis

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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TWIX PAUSE!

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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