Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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What's clear and wet? water

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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