What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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A man... walks.

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Your mums a penis joke.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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