Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Get in the car.

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knock knock who's there no one

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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