So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops