-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I just can't stand sitting down!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops