what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What did I do last night?work

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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