Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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What is white black and Chinese A panda

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your going to die

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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