I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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