Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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A mans opinion.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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