How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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#Hanging Degus

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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Shut the cork up!

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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