Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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This sentence is false.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops