your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

Why did the dog eat poop?

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

justin bieber

A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

Worst joke ever

This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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