Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Your Mom.

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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