Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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