A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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