Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

skurfboards we love fat kids

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

a man walks into a bar he got hurt

Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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