A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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liam buchan is gay !

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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